Vena McGrath, Author & Internet Chat Authority:
30th March 2004
Man Australia continues to untangle the web!
interview, conducted with Vena McGrath via e-mail,
educates and warns you of some of the various elements
of Internet chat.
fun or potentially deadly liaisons?
is told in this no holds barred account on the phenom
known as "chat".
What's your background in both a personal and professional
personal background is Sydney born (Parramatta) after
the end of the Second World War. My father was a motor
mechanic, my mother a housewife. I have one brother
who has lived in Queensland for about 30 years. My
education was to high school level where I attained
my Intermediate Certificate. I then spent a year full-time
at Granville Technical College where I undertook a
first job at 16 was as junior stenographer with the
NSW Police Department. At 18 I left the Public Service
and worked as a secretary with a company at Granville
and then joined my fathers company as Company
Secretary at around 18.5. By age 20 I was married
and left work just before I turned 21 when I had my
first child, my daughter. Before my 24th birthday
arrived I had 3 children. My sons are less than a
year apart in age. I stayed home with my children
until they were all in High School and then I secured
a permanent position as a secretary. I climbed the
ladder from Merchants Association Secretary to State
Secretary and then due to marriage problems, I gave
up work early in 1987 hoping to sort the mess out.
It didnt work and in May 1987 I returned to
the same company as PA to the National Marketing Manager.
1988 my daughter and the eldest of my two sons and
I walked out of our home and never went back. For
the next 11 years I worked hard, bought a block of
land, secured a loan with my son, and we built our
home. I changed jobs and have now been back in a government
position for 9 years, spending the first 6 years as
Executive Assistant and the last 3 as Administration
Officer/Supervisor with a lot of extra duties thrown
in like most people today who work full-time.
What first got your attention on the Internet?
internet didnt interest me at all. When my son
lived with me he had a computer and I used to watch
him surfing around. I found it slow and totally boring.
After he left home to move to the country to work
I missed the word processor part of the computer so
I bought a computer on time payment, as I couldnt
afford to buy one outright. My son set it up for me
and insisted I learn to surf the net. I refused but
then gave in as he advised me I should upgrade my
skills, as computers would be coming to the fore in
the workplace. This was in June 1999.
hadnt been surfing around long when I stumbled
upon a chat room overseas on one of the sites I was
browsing for things to look at. I found my way into
the room and couldnt make much out of it at
all. I sat and watched for a while and left fairly
quickly. My surfing then was occasional, I loved watching
shows on TV I had watched for years, was so addicted
to the daytime soapies that I taped them and watched
them at night. I also watched as many SBS and ABC
specials as I could, including parliament live and
Countrywide (I think thats what it was called).
I became used to finding the overseas chat room I
began to have big problems connecting to it, and most
times when I got up the courage to try to get in on
the chat I failed to find a way to enter the room.
After a few weeks of frustration I gave up on it totally.
Then I stumbled on another chat room site one night,
chat in Australia, so I decided to go have a look.
Little did I know I was already well on the way to
being addicted to this medium, this online chat scene.
I wandered into a Travel room and I can remember sitting
wondering when someone was going to talk about travel.
So I asked when are you going to talk about
travel? That brought the house down, laughter
all over. I couldnt work out why. But of course
I did in a short time work out why. Room names had
nothing at all to do with discussions; the rooms were
full of people saying hi and bye
and flirting outrageously, or so it seemed. It looked
like a load of gibberish and I hastily retreated and
found my way to a 50s room.
about chat got to me. Here I was safe at home and
yet I was with people from all over Australia, laughing
with them and finding it was actually a fun way to
spend my evenings and that I was learning to enjoy
interacting via a computer. I started to watch less
and less TV and spent more and more time at the computer,
although the constant disconnections bothered me and
often I would feel like taking an axe to the computer.
How did you "get involved" in a big way
my third night in Australian chat (I had found a notch
for myself in the 50s room) I ended up in a private
discussion with a male from Victoria, an Irishman.
That was when I became totally hooked on chat and
my addiction set in fast.
When did you realise that Internet chat could be a
dangerous pastime, in more ways than one?
realised this once my manuscript was completed so
I could read it as a story. I sat down one day quietly
and read it page by page. By the time I had finished
I was wishing the story was fiction, not my life,
or 3 years of it. I steamrolled through those years
not worrying too much about anything except my thirst
for learning about life and getting back on track
as a woman. I wanted adventure and I found it and
I grabbed hold of it and ran with it wherever it took
me. Once I read the story I saw the truth. I had allowed
myself to be manipulated, used and indeed abused emotionally
and yet I had choice. I wondered why I had made the
choices I did and the easy answer for me was, and
still is, that I was on a road I didn't design for
myself and that all that happened was meant to happen.
I needed to grow as a person and my beliefs and values
changed as I changed. No longer could I hang onto
those values and beliefs I held as a child and a young
woman. After all they really weren't mine, they were
my parents' and a sign of the time I grew up in.
I read my story, which had all come out of my memories
and not from notes or a diary, I realised how many
chances I had taken, how many times I could have ended
up in a lot of strife, and in fact in danger. The
Internet allowed me to cross over my boundary lines
I had set for my life and I did it freely. I thought
I was pretty clever, I could suss people out and all
would be well. But what I neglected to do was listen
to my inner voice. I knew almost every time I stepped
over the line what was going to happen, not when but
what. And yet there it all was for me if I wanted
it. And I did want it, I wanted to be loved, desired,
and I wanted to give that in return. Trouble was I
had love mixed up with sex in my naïve mind,
probably because there had only ever been one intimate
relationship in my life that lasted for 26 years and
then celibacy for 11 years.
Have you always been a big writer?
always wanted to be a writer I think. From my earliest
memories English and comprehension were favourite
subjects. I loved writing compositions and anyone
who ever received a letter from me always received
a mini novel. I started writing my life story for
my kids in about 1998, it's still not finished. It's
a hard story to write as I'm being totally honest
in it. There are many things they don't know or don't
remember about our life and I think it's important
that one day they read my story through my eyes. I
hope to finish it in the not too distant future so
we can all talk about the issues together. Perhaps
it will be a healing thing for all of us and might
help some of our scars fade further.
manuscript I have written that is being published
was in some ways easy to write because the thoughts
spilled out faster than my fingers could type, and
yet at times I became bogged down unable to move forward.
Being a Scorpio I find it impossible to half do something
and move on and come back so I would leave it and
when I felt I could face where I was up to again,
I would sit down and get back into it. I didn't read
as I wrote, and that's why I found reading the rough
first draft so harrowing. The words had all come out
of me and yet I still couldn't face that they were
fact not fiction. I guess I must be a fairly good
writer if I shocked the writer.
What was your motivation to get chatting on the web?
had no motivation to chat, I had never heard of it
nor did I know anyone who used the medium or in fact
had ever heard of it. It's still the same now; very
few people in my real life use chat or even know how
to find it. So it's been an alone thing for me, not
something I've shared with anyone but the people I
have met online.
motivation came with my addiction to having found
somewhere relatively safe where I could go each night
and meet people and talk, and flirt, and laugh. I
watched less and less TV and in fact when the Olympics
were on in 2000, I had to ring my son and ask him
how to use the remote control to get the TV to work.
I do have an excuse there, as he had brought me his
TV set when he bought a bigger one so I'd never used
it before. All I ever do is dust the TV, I rarely
switch it on. It's there for my family when they visit
if they want it or other visitors.
find chat an excellent medium for my sense of humour,
my bouts of aggression towards people I can't tolerate
online and definitely would not associate with in
reality. It's an excellent schoolroom, there is always
someone online I can learn from. The irrelevant issues
I forget almost instantaneously including people who
I find irrelevant to what I need from this place called
chat. But there are other things I have learned that
have helped me in many ways and motivate me to stay
online even at times when I am so frustrated by it
all. And of course, writing is a big part of interacting
online. Using words to motivate and inspire people
into reacting, being controversial and then sitting
back and watching the words flying onto the screen
from various interested chatters are some of the best
times I spend online.
Tell us about some of your most positive and negative
experiences on Internet chat? (we know we need to
buy the book for the whole story), but a few "teasers"
guess the most positive things about chat are the
wonderful people I have met online and for real who
have touched my life in many ways. There are also
the people who came to me for help during one year.
It seemed I spent most of my time in private conversations
with people who carried the weight of the world on
their shoulders and needed to offload some of it on
someone, and the ideal someone was me for some reason.
It's got a lot to do with anonymity of chat, being
able to say anything and everything knowing full well
the other person doesn't have a clue who you are or
where you are. This part of chat for a time was very
special to me. I'm fairly psychic and I enhanced my
skills without even knowing it. I saw options and
answers for people that they hadn't thought of. I
seemed to have things coming out of my head I didn't
know were in there. I used to wonder who on earth
was inside me that came out now and then and exploded
in a myriad of words and knowledge I sure didn't know
I had. I seemed to have a sixth sense about things,
I read between the lines and sometimes scared people
by what I knew about them they hadn't told me. I eventually
stopped allowing myself to become involved in this
type of chat as it was wearing me down. I took their
troubles from them and then they became mine. I started
to go under from it all, so I had to stop doing it
and like most things in my life, once I made up my
mind, that's exactly what I did.
positive is being able to help people with their computer
problems. In the last 4.5 years I've learned so much
that I can now fairly easily help most people with
problems and do it in a plain English language they
can understand. Their extreme appreciation makes me
smile, as I know how frustrating it is when you don't
have a clue how to do what you want to do and most
people just confuse you more by their explanations.
comradeship, the feeling that the chat room is an
extended family is a big positive for a lot of lonely
people. I was one of them and this place called chat
gave me somewhere to spend my lonely hours so I never
really feel alone.
negatives are there too. The element that has crept
into chat and the internet that is seedy is also dangerous.
Most of us, females and males who are honest people,
have many times come into contact with these unsavoury
elements of chat. I can only really talk about the
male side of the 'sleaze' element as I call it, but
I also know there is a female side to it too. The
pornography, the constant privving of chat folk by
males and females who just enter a room and priv the
first female nick they see, or male, and talk dirty
almost from the first word. This bothers me immensely,
not for myself as I know how to handle them now, but
for the 'newbies' and the young kids online. I know
these males and females hang around in the teenage
rooms and although those rooms are policed, it can't
happen 24 hours a day as hosts and irc (internet cops)
are all people who volunteer their time and they all
have lives as well to cope with.
see rooms such as Married & Flirting as extreme
breaches of morality codes we should be trying online
to foster online, not erode. The internet, and chat
rooms are full of married people looking for something
extra and actually thinking it is their right to expect
that extra from women and men who are single, or married
and bored like themselves. I would close down rooms
with explicit names. I know those people will still
be online, but let them chat in rooms without advertising
what and who they are. I see networks as being culpable
for allowing this breach of morality and it's a passion
of mine to highlight it plus the inherent dangers
to young teenagers online.
What percentage of people in chatrooms did you find
to be dishonest people?
not an easy question. My own personal view is the
percentage is high but usually when I say that in
a chat room situation I am pounced on. However there
are always people in the rooms who agree with me.
As a totally honest person with nothing to hide I
find dishonesty very hard to reconcile with and never
will be able to. I find that the truth even if it
hurts, is the only option. There are a lot of males
online who will own up they are married, but there
are a lot who don't and they are the dangerous ones
because you really are left without any choice to
make if you like that person and decide to trust them
and then meet them.
people online are smooth talkers, able to manipulate
conversations and mesmerize minds and eventually almost
destroy someone's self esteem. I know that people
will think "what is she on about? This is all
fantasy not reality". But I say to those people,
go online, let yourselves move outside the circle,
open your minds, and then after a while tell me where
the fantasy ends and the reality begins. We are talking
about lonely people, many just out of messy divorces
or separations, even deaths, who are searching for
someone, anyone, to fill a void. And in steps Ms or
Mr Wonderful, with all the right words that you want
so much to hear. Then begins the danger with the lies
and the deceit.
How often do people use photos that actually don't
really accurately resemble themselves?
know this happens frequently as it's often commented
about. I have been sent pics that must be 20 years
old at least. Beats me why people bother doing that,
after all if you are going to eventually meet then
the lie is there in your face. I've heard of people
who have flown interstate to meet some gorgeous person
at the other end only to be totally horrified by what
they are confronted with. Personally I haven't had
that happen to me. Very few people look exactly like
a photo portrays them, but some of the women I know
have those fantasy pics taken and send them. Let's
face it they looked that way for one day in their
lives and I can't understand why they would send them
to men and then dishonestly meet those people and
frighten the life out of them.
the worst pics of all are the ones that land in your
email or chat script, you open them up, and there
is a penis staring at you. Usually only the lower
part of the body is in the photo, so no identifying
features. I regard this as a low act by men and one
I personally find insulting to me as a female. I believe
there are women who send those types of photos to
men; so again, it's not just a male thing.
What chatrooms were your favourite?
favourite memories are of the 50s room. It's where
I found chat and where I found a lot of new friends
many I have met by travelling interstate for lunches,
dinners and chat parties. I have been to some of my
friends' homes and some of them have been to mine.
I spent the first 2 years of my chat life in that
room and when I had a break out of chat for about
6 months and returned, I was devastated to find it
had fallen apart and most of the people I knew those
years had disappeared either out of chat altogether
or to other chat venues. I have never really found
a home in chat since then and now have my own room
where I can go and find peace and quietness and work
on top of the screen. My special friends know where
I am if they wish to find me and anyone else who finds
my room finds it by fluke chance. Unfortunately some
of the worst types online find me and leave a nice
abusive message. I just laugh because I have high
hopes that one day that element will be gone from
chat. People who hide under the guise of a guest number
are such cowards and as they can't associate with
normal people they will fade away to other places
they can use their foul language and lack of intelligence.
reputation in some rooms is not a good one because
I dare to ask why and I dare to stick up for people
who I perceive are being unfairly treated by the hosts
of the room or by others chatting there. I also don't
suffer fools gladly and I tell them. Not seen as being
acceptable but as far as I am concerned it is my right
to say 'leave me alone I don't wish to talk to you'
or whatever random thoughts come into my mind and
slip out my fingers. This is where my visitors come
from, those I have given a verbal uppercut to. They
have no skills with words, they can't debate; all
they can do is become personal and swear and then
harass you by finding you online wherever you may
be chatting, and abuse you publicly without revealing
who they are.
Do you still chat, and if so, why?
I still chat every night of my life unless I go out
or away. I have a laptop so I take it when I travel
and it's a clone of my computer at home. Since writing
the manuscript and signing a contract, I have used
chat as a place to network what I'm doing. There are
many people who ask about the book and through networking
I've met a lot of interesting people who share my
hobby or a similar one. Swapping ideas is a great
way to spend time in chat and I spend minimal time
in the public room talking. The chat in there is usually
inane rubbish. I could put up on screen most nights
exactly what everyone is going to say and to whom.
It's like watching a room full of robots going through
the same routine night after night, like a stage show.
And that's how I see chat, a huge stage show on every
night, with all the people playing mostly the same
part, boringly. But behind the scenes I find quality.
Not every night but often enough to make it worthwhile,
and when there is no quality chat around I idle my
time away in other pursuits such as emails, writing,
surfing around sites or just sitting listening to
my music and thinking.
Explain the sequence of events that occur one you
log on, to speaking to a person, to meeting, to considering
"being" with them? (change the wording to
suit you or ignore the questions if you must), The
questions is about the sequence of events, decision
making, logistics etc
first step is to find where you wish to chat and to
log in via the icon on a website using the script
the website provides for chat, or as in my case, an
enhanced mirc script that allows me to quickly access
my favourite chat rooms via an icon on my desktop.
In a few short seconds I am into chat, whereas the
other way is laborious and unstable.
in a room if you are a 'newbie' you usually sit tentatively
wondering what on earth to do. Most 'newbies' come
online with a guest number and the first thing they
ask is how to get a nick name. That's easy when you
know how and people in the room are only too glad
to help as none of us are too enchanted talking to
numbers. Many people of course come in with a guest
number on purpose to hide out or hurl abuse at someone
in a cowardly manner. Many people who chat often have
more than one way to come into chat and are able to
disguise who they are by using a guest number, a different
script to normal and perhaps dialup access instead
of cable or a different dialup address to normal.
You can have as many providers as you care to pay
for, and take as few hours as you want, so you can
play games if you so desire at little cost to the
budget. This is common practice online. I have to
admit using it myself at times if I have been banned
from a room on one provider's addy I can get into
the room using another. Neat trick but just a toy
to me, whereas to others it's a weapon.
once you have a nick name and settle in people will
start asking questions such as where you are from,
whether you are male or female, and perhaps your age
and whether you are married or not. Some people find
all these questions offensive, and they can be depending
on the way they are asked. For a 'newbie' it can be
daunting as there is the fear someone may find out
who you are. But most people realise that saying they
live in NSW or another state, and not a city or suburb
specifically, is a safe way to start off. Very few
people give out their exact location and rarely anyone
will display their real christian name in a public
chat room. The more wary people are the better as
stalking does happen online and offline if people
are foolish enough to give out too much personal information.
are always people in chat rooms who will hone in on
a new arrival, and many new arrivals hone in on the
people in the chat room by entering the room and privving
someone straight off without asking if they can. Chat
protocol is you always should ask if someone would
like to have a private conversation, not just priv
them without asking. People are starting now to react
negatively to this kind of treatment and will tell
the nick concerned in the public room to get out of
their priv, stop being rude etc etc. The hosts have
messages they display in the room if this happens
advising everyone of the protocol of chat but it doesn't
stop this from happening. As in most things we all
have choice, so the rule of thumb is if you don't
wish to chat private you ignore the person privving
you. I prefer not to say anything in public unless
there is a good reason to and handle it myself in
private. But even so you are then open to abuse in
the public room from that person you have rejected.
This does happen frequently.
settled in chat and more at ease, people begin to
accept private conversations. This is totally up to
each individual to accept or decline. Many true friends
are found this way, and many love affairs begin this
way and many end too. Chat is not renowned for lasting
love, it's more a fleeting thing, like two ships that
pass in the night, enjoy the moment, and move on.
Some people feel betrayed, some people become vindictive,
friendships are either won or lost. It really isn't
much different to any other community except there
is the element of concealment. You can be whomever
you choose to be on the internet. No one can see you,
no one knows if your wife is sitting watching TV while
you are telling some woman you are single and the
same goes for women telling lies to men. This is one
thing about chat that isn't very easy to come to any
conclusion about. Photos can be exchanged, but are
they of that person? It's all a matter of chance and
gut feelings. Once you talk to the same person a few
times it becomes easier to work them out as very few
people who are putting on an act can keep it up for
too long. Liars forget their lies so it's always best
to keep logs and remember all you can about someone
so if they chat to you a few more times you can take
note of changes in their stories.
safety network online is other chatters. The women
online who know each other fairly well, even if they
don't particularly like each other, will either ask
privately usually about someone who they may be interested
in but have questions about. It's amazing how some
men spread themselves so thinly around the rooms without
having the brain matter to realise that people do
talk, not everyone is gullible. Often a group of women
discussing a particular nick will find that person
is courting them all, and he may have several different
nicks. I imagine this is true of the men as well;
the not so good people online are not just males.
It's all lies and deception online, mind manipulation
and a sign of the lack of ethics in our society today.
There is very little respect comes from either sex
towards the other or male-to-male or female-to-female.
And, very little loyalty.
Internet is setting up its own standards of behaviour
and unless someone steps in and says this has to change
for the sake of the good people who want to use the
medium the way it should be used, there is little
hope that chat as I knew it will survive (what little
of that is left). There's nothing wrong with flirting,
having fun, laughing and enjoying each other's company
and indeed perhaps meeting for real from a chat encounter.
But many of these meetings are built on lies and many
lives are devastated by it. Many marriages have already
ended because of exposure to freedom on the Internet
and I really have no sympathy for those people. Most
are well aware that their wife or husband is chatting,
as they themselves probably are, and they accept it
as being fine, no problem. Then when the day comes
their marriage is over because the husband or wife
has walked out with a chat lover, they look around
and blame the Internet. Sorry, the Internet is not
to blame; people are to blame.
personally didn't find the decision to meet anyone
an easy one to make. You can never be sure who anyone
is, regardless of how strongly you feel about him
or her. The natural progression from online chat sessions
with one person, is to emails and phone calls and
from there if you both choose, meeting. The trouble
is many people can play the game for months and set
up a meeting with the other person who truly is under
the belief that this will probably be a long-term
arrangement. Then, after perhaps an enjoyable weekend
together and the expenses involved, one of the participants
disappears forever, leaving the other person totally
devastated. That person's self-esteem hits rock bottom;
there are many unanswered questions, and there seems
to be no answers as to why it happened. And then perhaps
an even worse scenario opens up when they chat about
the experience and find out to their horror the same
person has been seeing many others and doing the same
thing. How soul destroying that is to some people.
I know first-hand about such happenings. All things
are relevant; the hurt is personal.
rule was from the very beginning that if someone wished
to meet me then the meeting took place in my city,
and after the first meeting I would be agreeable to
take my turn to travel. The internet always seems
to be overloaded with people from every state except
the one you live in and quite a few of my friends
are interstate, or were interstate as it's all in
the past tense now. However I wonder in hindsight
if that was a very good option after all. If you are
the one to travel then you also have the right to
insist on seeing where the other person lives. We
often joke in chat about going through wardrobes,
checking out bathrooms etc for female bits and pieces.
And yet this is probably the safest course to take
for anyone contemplating meeting someone from the
Internet, and if there are excuses put forward to
stop this happening, then these are warning bells.
Another good warning is the home phone number. If
the only number you ever have is a mobile or work
number, then there is most likely a wife/husband at
home. And yet again I have been in the situation personally
of having a home address, home phone number, mobile
number, work number and details. Yet that person was
married and living with his wife and young son. A
story in my book, not to be believed, but true.
really don't have the answer on who to meet or not
meet, or how to go about it. All I ever did was follow
my instincts, or go against them quite often and earn
my just rewards by doing so. One of my friends online
said to me recently that he talked to a lot of women
before he met his love online, and as soon as he heard
warning bells he shut down communication with all
those other women. And he is right, most of us who
who are intelligent and are thinkers hear those bells,
but for many reasons we choose to ignore them. To
me he is a very courageous man, and his courage and
the fact that he stood behind his convictions eventually
brought him together with the right person. He is
one of the fortunate ones online, and there are few
of them who find a perfect match. Some people meet
and marry and are happy for ever, others meet, move
in together and then all hell breaks loose and it's
over and the bitterness and backstabbing starts online.
Very harrowing and nasty and shows the human adult
in a very poor light.
an ideal meeting place for two lonely people, the
Internet is sadly lacking in my opinion. It is a place
of transient people, people battle scarred from marriage
and bitterness who are only really looking for a quick
fix. Age is rarely an issue; as long as the body is
willing nothing else is important. Sussing out people
who are actually living this way is the hard part
with some as they disguise it so well and lie so eloquently.
With others it's a snatch, so easy; they are so transparent.
No verbal skills, no writing skills and a distinct
low level of interactive intelligence.
the question is, do you take a chance and shrug your
shoulders if it all goes wrong and go back for another
shot at it, or do you say right from the start that
it's not for you? Again it's a personal issue as to
where you are at with your life, how far you are willing
to go in a quest for some happiness, and how far outside
your personal barriers you are prepared to step. I
see meeting on the Internet no different to meeting
in almost any other place except for one very important
factor. Whilst you are meeting on a level of 'chat'
you are not looking into each other's eyes, you don't
have the advantage of body language. All you have
are words on a screen, and are they true words or
are they all fantasies? Therein lies the complexity
of it all, and if you take a chance then that's exactly
what you are doing. Taking a chance sight unseen that
the person you think you know is that person and not
a fantasy created especially to lure you into a false
sense of security in order to gain sexual pleasures
What advice do you have for others before they start
all you can about chat including my book and believe
it. There are no fabrications in my story because
if there were I would have made sure I came out smelling
like roses. This is no game, it might be fantasy,
but if you are coming online looking for a relationship
then beware. And if you have no intention of ever
being involved in a relationship online, beware. I
never had any intention of chatting, nor did I have
any intention of meeting men from here after 11 years
alone. And yet it happened to me because I was open
to suggestion, lonely, vulnerable. I fell into traps
I don't want others to fall into without prior warning.
I want people to chat, to get out of it what they
need in their lives. I don't want people hurt if I
can possibly help them not to be hurt.
How many chat sessions did you participate in the
2000 - 2003 period?
many? I could never imagine how many. By 2000 I was
addicted well and truly and I was online every night
but not for hours like I am now. I came online to
meet whoever it was I was involved with and left when
we said goodnight. I guess on a rough estimation I
could eliminate maybe 4 weeks out of each year with
the exception of 2001 when I was out of chat almost
totally for a period of about 6 months.
What is the best thing you learned about life from
this medium exists for the lonely, the disabled, for
those imprisoned in their homes for whatever reason
that no one ever needs to know about. These people
will most likely never be exposed to the seamy side
of the Internet because they aren't in the mainstream
chat range. They will survive where many others will
fall by the wayside, disenchanted, disappointed and
maybe even destroyed emotionally. It all boils down
to what you want and why you are online. Whatever
you are looking for you will find.
What other interests do you have?
have a full-time job, a family, a home to look after
and I have my writing which last year and this year
is taking up quite a bit of my time. I'm joining online
writing groups, writing a short story to submit in
a competition in the USA later this year, and I'm
learning the hard way about having a book published
and all that goes with that little project that I
didn't have a clue about. I'm also working on getting
myself out of Sydney in the next year or so to somewhere
I can hopefully retire to concentrate on writing full-time.
What little known secrets and talents have you got?
secrets I have are just that, secrets. Scorpios are
supposed to be secretive and I guess in a way we are.
Very few people actually ever know me totally and
in fact probably no-one knows me only myself. My best
defense is my privacy and my walls I build fairly
quickly around myself if I'm in danger of an invasion.
I don't know I have any talents that I keep hidden.
Some I've left behind as I've grown older some new
ones I've found that I always had but never made use
of or just accepted as being me. Now I'm more apt
to think about those things and marvel at how lucky
I am to have certain things about me that others don't
have and don't know I have. So I guess they remain
a secret, my secret. I see many things others don't
know about and aren't aware I'm seeing. Whether this
is a talent or not I don't know, I prefer to think
of it as being a gift. One day I hope to have to time
to concentrate on improving those areas of my life
but again they are for me, not for anyone else unless
I have the ability to use them for the good of someone
When will Secrets, Lies and Chat be on the shelves
only I knew. Now would be a good time for me to test
my psychic ability. My instincts tell me later this
year, not when I anticipated or was told. It will
happen when it's time to happen. I don't control it
I'm just the author. I knew when I sent the manuscript
to America that I only needed to send it to one publisher
and I chose one from all my research because I had
a 'feel' about them. In spite of many people advising
me to send it to as many publishers as I could, I
stuck to my resolve that one would be all I needed.
So now I accept that this will happen as it's supposed
to and when it's supposed to and no amount of anguish
on my part will speed the process up. The same thing
happened when I started to write. I didn't plan to
write a manuscript when I did. I just had this thought
come into my mind that it was something I needed to
do and so I sat down and I started to write. Call
it whatever you like but I know the answers already,
and time will prove me either right or wrong. Either
way I accept whatever happens as being meant to happen.
note: Don't chat before reading the book!
Lies & Chat, by Yvette Moore and Greg Tingle
Lies & Chat, by Greg Tingle
Lies & Chat, by Yvette Moore
Hitchcock, Author, Internet Crimes and Misdemeanors
& President of WHOA
Dunn, NSW Writers' Centre
Tien, Electronic Frontiers Foundation
Swan, EROS Association
Finkelstein, Consulting Programmer, Anti Censorware
Buckland, Jelly Wrestling promoter & Adult Webmaster
Bardot, Business Adviser, Promoter & Body Model
Budde, Budde Communications
Bemer, "The Father of the Internet"
is more real than you think, by Greg Tingle
on the Internet, by Greg Tingle
Tim Bristow: A personal true tale of Australia's legendary
private investigator, by Greg Tingle
Safety and Responsibilities, by Vaughan Buckland
Lies & Chat blogger - Vena McGrath's blogger
- Working To Halt Online Abuse